Abigail has invented a game. Here are the only two rules: if you aren't holding her, you lose and if you sit down, you also lose. Larry said that game is like "Heads I win, Tails you lose."
You don't always have to be moving to win, but you may not sit under any circumstances. For example, you might be standing perfectly still, Abigail over one shoulder, and then slowly try to sit straight down in a tall chair behind you. She screams, you stand back up, and she wins the game.
Luckily there are two of us so we can take turns playing the game. And if she is asleep, you can sometimes not play the game and transfer her to her crib or to the bed. Last night at 3 o'clock AM she wanted to be held while sleeping. I let her sleep on my chest, curled up in a ball, my arm around her. When she was sound asleep, I tried to transfer her ("hug and roll") but she woke up and clung for dear life like a baby monkey to its mother. So I let her sleep on my chest for another hour. When I thought she was sound asleep again, I tried to transfer her to the bed next to me. She woke up a minute later, took matters into her own hands, and crawled up onto my chest again and fell asleep for the rest of the night.
Miss Abigail is playing the same game that was a favorite of all 4 of my children. Again, how smart is this child? Sleep with her, hold her, don't put her down, and just try to survive. Once she has totally bonded with you, she will be ready to let loose. She will know when that happens - you won't. She knows what she needs and luckily she is smart enough to realize that. That is the whole idea of cocooning - I am sure you have read about it! Whisper sweet nothings into her ear constantly and always let her win the game - actually you are the ones who will ultimately be the winners - I promise. Trust me on this. I may not know about computers but I do know about babies. Kisses. Judi
ReplyDeleteWell said, Judi! I couldn't agree more! It's exhausting, I know - but so worth it. Forget what "they" say and do what feels right - that's what parenting is all about :) Enjoy the babymoon!
ReplyDeleteJudy & Bri are absolutely RIGHT!!! Both of my kids played & won this game. In the end, we all turned out to be winners. Enjoy this now, because when she is older, you are not allowed to hardly been in the same county as she is!
ReplyDeleteYes, Yes! I agree with Judi! This is such a great sign. It is doing as much for you as for her to increase the bond. Some adoptive families intentionally hold/carry/wear for weeks or months to help the child bond. We have extensively held each of our children. Some need it more than others. If they know you will try to meet this need they will let you know when they are ready to let go and when they need more.
ReplyDeleteHanna played this game and we got really good at the 'standing sway.' Strap her on and think like a kangaroo. Zak, however, always wanted my hand. Once he fell asleep, I would try to slowly extract it from his little fingers...only to wake him up and listen to his cries and start all over again. I even toyed with getting a fake hand to fool him, but that would have defeated the purpose of bonding with his mom! Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteWell, it is unanimous...Abigail wins. Children know what they need and Abigail has clearly told you that she needs YOU...so just relax and love it. "it's not what you will teach your child, it's what they will teach you" is the advice my grandmother gave me when my son was born, and I did my best to sit back and learn.
ReplyDeleteGo for it, Crosswells, you are doing it right!