If I were to do this all over again, what would I do differently?

There are some things we would have done differently to prepare for our trip so I just want to put these ideas out there for other adoption travelers who may read this blog.

First, I would like to say we would go with CCAI as our agency all over again. They were clear and informative and prompt at every step in the process, but everyone always said that their in-country guides and social workers are the best. Really they are. We could not have had the smooth in-country experience that we have had (they do paperwork for us, run errands, go with us to take Abigail to the doctor, recommend food and restaurants, organize group outings, etc.). I would definitely go with a SN child again also. Abigail's personality is revealed to us a little more each day and she is such a sweetheart and she just soaks up everything we try to teach her.

Now, the stuff I would do differently.

I would like to preface this with the fact that we only brought 2 smallish suitcases that are 10in x 25 x 15 (approximately) that held stuff for all three of us and a backpack each. We didn't bring carry on luggage or an extra suitcase for Abigail. 2 small suitcases and 2 backpacks total. And I still think we brought too much stuff.

1. Packing. Larry and I were so obsessed with the below freezing temps we would be facing in Beijing that we completely over-packed for that leg of the trip. Even though we were there for parts of 4 days, it was only really 2 days doing stuff in Beijing, but we packed too many Under Armor undershirts and long underwear and 4 sweaters/sweatshirts each. We could have brought 2 sets of the base layers and worn the same outer layers both days and saved on 3 sets of heavy clothes each. There are heavy clothes that we never wore, but have to lug around. Also, we wore jeans on the flight over and we each packed 2 more. Packing only 1 more would have been sufficient. We did NOT pack enough short sleeve t-shirts. I didn't pack enough shirts that I don't care about a baby staining while on my shoulder. We didn't need all of the electricity converters we brought: all of our hotels had them to borrow.

2. CCAI said "Laundry facilities are at each hotel" and since Larry and I didn't know that meant "Laundry services that the hotel will take 24 hours to do and return and charge exorbitantly for doing so" we would have packed more socks and underwear. We thought 4 days' worth of underclothes would be good and we could take an hour, throw them in a machine, and be done with it. But the first 2 hotels charged per item. A woman we are traveling with thought it was free and had half a load done and it cost over $80. Laundry is cheap and easily accessible in Guangzhou.

3. Living on top of each other: we were not prepared for this. In total, we will be on a plane, in a hotel, or in transit home for 18 days. We are together 24-7 in a hotel room most of the time. When the baby sleeps, we both want to get stuff done: on the computer, organizing clean clothes from dirty, reading, napping, showers, etc and we are in this nice but TINY hotel room and have zero personal space or time apart. That is difficult for even the best couples to manage for 18 straight days. When we were DINKs on vacations, we would frequently spend a few hours apart exercising, seeing different shows, etc. This is not possible right now.

4. Blogging sites are blocked here. Either find a good proxy or have a good friend or family member back home to help you out. My wonderful brother Jim has been receiving my blogs as emails and posting them for me because I was aware that this might be a problem so we worked this out ahead of time. Other people in my group are using a proxy or are also emailing entries.

5. This one is more for 1st time parents: it is hard enough learning how to be a parent all of a sudden, but throw in the fact that you are learning in a different country with a vastly different language and living out of suitcases it is all the more challenging. Be sure to have the following items:

bibs (and remember to bring them with you at meal times!), a baby spoon, TWO bottles, pocket knife (been used a thousand times this week for various things), snacks ("baby treats" as Larry calls them- we wish we had brought more Gerber Graduates food like yogurt melts), a jumbo bottle of Advil (the meds you can buy here aren't the same and suddenly carrying around a 20 pound kid is taxing on us and we are already in shape!), about 300 baby wipes (we only brought about 100 and are going to fall short and the ones we bought here are thin).

First Bath and Leo Bloom's Blue Blanket

Abigail has been down for her morning nap for over 2.5 hours. Larry is passed out with her: they both had a rough night last night.

I really want to organize our stuff into suitcases again for our flight this evening (each time I have to do this, it is harder- apparently our stuff is multiplying), but don't want to make noise and wake them up, but blogging is pretty quiet.

Thanks for all of the advice from everyone on what to do about Abigail not letting us sit down. We appreciated your help, even though it was all variations of "hang in there" while we are dead exhausted and living in a hotel with a sick baby and all we want to do is prove to Abigail that we love her sitting down as well as standing. We still have to stand up most of the time when she is awake, but yesterday she did start to let us play with her while sitting, so that was a start. Maybe she will let us sit and play with her a little more today.

Attached are pics from our first successful bath with Abigail. She was standing in the hotel sink. As Steph pointed out to me, we have no idea what we are doing, and our first attempt at a bath was not successful. Apparently, kids don't like to be in chest-deep, skin-blanching water in a full-sized bathtub. (Larry's idea.) Our second attempt, holding her over the tub while pouring water over her was also a failure. (My idea.) We tried to convince her that we are actually a pretty intelligent duo, but she doesn't believe us.

If anyone has ever seen The Producers (movie or musical or movie musical) you know that there is a scene in which Leo Bloom becomes stressed out and he reaches for his blue blanket, holds it over his nose, and breathes deeply into it. We have discovered that Abigail has taught herself this same stress-relieving technique. When something really stresses her out, often she won't scream (only sitting down makes her scream). Instead, if she is stressed (such as when one of us leaves the room, she is fighting sleep, she dirties her diaper, there are too many people around her, etc.) she holds her blanket over her face and hyperventilates into it until her breathing slows down or the situation is made right again. We think she is an amazing adaptor-- this has to be a behavior she developed at the orphanage. Again, we are impressed at the depth of her intellect, instinct and emotions.

She'll see it later, honey, her eyes are frozen

Happy Christmas Eve from China. To all of my family spending time at the old farmhouse in PA: however cold Mom may have set the thermostat, just remember, we are so very much colder! (The "feels like" temperature today was 12. Nope, that is not Celsius.)

Today was spent almost entirely outside. We left the hotel later than expected (after waiting 25 minutes for the ever-self-absorbed von Trapp family) to go to the Forbidden City. The first picture was taken outside the Forbidden City, before the cold really set in. I had 5 layers on my top, but the worst part was my feet: I couldn't feel them after the first hour- just a burning sensation in the general area where my feet are located. After that, we walked (jogged really) through Tiananmen Square to get back to our tour bus.

Then we got to do a quick tour of a silk factory (and gift shop), had lunch in the freezing cold basement of some restaurant, and then had an hour tour through the Hutong. Our tour guide said "If you haven't been to Beijing, then you haven't been to China. If you haven't been to Hutong, then you haven't been to Beijing." While that seems like the logic-statements with which we challenge our geometry students in a lesson on syllogism, it wasn't too remarkable. Think of NYC's Chinatown and then make it older and poorer and put it in Beijing. We got to do this tour in pedicab. (If you look closely at the pic below you will see that my eyes actually were frozen at this point, and it was right before someone spilled tea on me so I had soaking wet jeans while it was 12 degrees.) Larry kept saying "I'm so cold I'm so cold" so that it became a sort of mantra.

For dinner, Larry and I did enjoy some Peking Duck, at Jim's suggestion. It was succulent. Unlike the Christmas Story movie, it was not smiling at us. :)

We don't want to complain or seem like we aren't having fun, but it is indescribably cold and we just want to get our daughter. We do like most of our travel group and they seem just as cold and just as eager to get their kids too. There is a precocious little boy D, and a sweet little girl K who are also excited to be getting their siblings.

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Tips for future adoption travelers:

1. When you bring the electrical converters, be sure that you bring one for your 2 prong devices (such as a man's electric razor) and also for your 3 prong devices (like a laptop). We were lucky that the nice guy working at the desk lent us a 3-prong one or blog entries were going to be short and far-between!

2. When your agency advises "This is an adoption trip not a vacation" and "please be on time" LISTEN TO THEM.

All of the families in our group have to constantly wait for one family: It isn't fair to all of us and it is going to be madness in a few days when there are a dozen babies in the mix. Please BE ON TIME!

3. Our agency said there were "laundry facilities" at the hotel. We thought this meant coin laundry and only took enough clothes for 1/3 of the trip. However, "laundry facilities" means that there is a laundry service at $3 per pair of socks,bra or underwear, $5 per t-shirt, $7 per pair of jeans, etc. You can re-wear jeans and sweaters, but...