If I were to do this all over again, what would I do differently?

There are some things we would have done differently to prepare for our trip so I just want to put these ideas out there for other adoption travelers who may read this blog.

First, I would like to say we would go with CCAI as our agency all over again. They were clear and informative and prompt at every step in the process, but everyone always said that their in-country guides and social workers are the best. Really they are. We could not have had the smooth in-country experience that we have had (they do paperwork for us, run errands, go with us to take Abigail to the doctor, recommend food and restaurants, organize group outings, etc.). I would definitely go with a SN child again also. Abigail's personality is revealed to us a little more each day and she is such a sweetheart and she just soaks up everything we try to teach her.

Now, the stuff I would do differently.

I would like to preface this with the fact that we only brought 2 smallish suitcases that are 10in x 25 x 15 (approximately) that held stuff for all three of us and a backpack each. We didn't bring carry on luggage or an extra suitcase for Abigail. 2 small suitcases and 2 backpacks total. And I still think we brought too much stuff.

1. Packing. Larry and I were so obsessed with the below freezing temps we would be facing in Beijing that we completely over-packed for that leg of the trip. Even though we were there for parts of 4 days, it was only really 2 days doing stuff in Beijing, but we packed too many Under Armor undershirts and long underwear and 4 sweaters/sweatshirts each. We could have brought 2 sets of the base layers and worn the same outer layers both days and saved on 3 sets of heavy clothes each. There are heavy clothes that we never wore, but have to lug around. Also, we wore jeans on the flight over and we each packed 2 more. Packing only 1 more would have been sufficient. We did NOT pack enough short sleeve t-shirts. I didn't pack enough shirts that I don't care about a baby staining while on my shoulder. We didn't need all of the electricity converters we brought: all of our hotels had them to borrow.

2. CCAI said "Laundry facilities are at each hotel" and since Larry and I didn't know that meant "Laundry services that the hotel will take 24 hours to do and return and charge exorbitantly for doing so" we would have packed more socks and underwear. We thought 4 days' worth of underclothes would be good and we could take an hour, throw them in a machine, and be done with it. But the first 2 hotels charged per item. A woman we are traveling with thought it was free and had half a load done and it cost over $80. Laundry is cheap and easily accessible in Guangzhou.

3. Living on top of each other: we were not prepared for this. In total, we will be on a plane, in a hotel, or in transit home for 18 days. We are together 24-7 in a hotel room most of the time. When the baby sleeps, we both want to get stuff done: on the computer, organizing clean clothes from dirty, reading, napping, showers, etc and we are in this nice but TINY hotel room and have zero personal space or time apart. That is difficult for even the best couples to manage for 18 straight days. When we were DINKs on vacations, we would frequently spend a few hours apart exercising, seeing different shows, etc. This is not possible right now.

4. Blogging sites are blocked here. Either find a good proxy or have a good friend or family member back home to help you out. My wonderful brother Jim has been receiving my blogs as emails and posting them for me because I was aware that this might be a problem so we worked this out ahead of time. Other people in my group are using a proxy or are also emailing entries.

5. This one is more for 1st time parents: it is hard enough learning how to be a parent all of a sudden, but throw in the fact that you are learning in a different country with a vastly different language and living out of suitcases it is all the more challenging. Be sure to have the following items:

bibs (and remember to bring them with you at meal times!), a baby spoon, TWO bottles, pocket knife (been used a thousand times this week for various things), snacks ("baby treats" as Larry calls them- we wish we had brought more Gerber Graduates food like yogurt melts), a jumbo bottle of Advil (the meds you can buy here aren't the same and suddenly carrying around a 20 pound kid is taxing on us and we are already in shape!), about 300 baby wipes (we only brought about 100 and are going to fall short and the ones we bought here are thin).

The White Swan, Guangzhou

We LOVE LOVE LOVE Guangzhou. The 3rd largest city in China, it is warm, clean, you can walk everywhere, there is a variety of food and the Pearl River runs through here. Right by our hotel looks like The Point at Three Rivers in Pittsburgh. It is just beautiful and warm here. If anyone is interested in a south-east Asian vacation, I would suggest this as a city you see.

Our hotel is super nice. Again, we had to remind Abigail that our home isn't as fancy- we don't have a 3-story Christmas tree, a 3-story waterfall, ancient bonsai trees, a koi pond or an aviary in our lobby (nor do we have a lobby!), and our house is not made of marble. But it will do for now! (Jim, Steph, and Dad- it really reminds me of the Budget Inn we stayed in on night 3 (in Hancock) of our bike trip from Pittsburgh to DC last summer!)

There are also lots of places to buy things, both real quality things and cheap imitation things and also places to get laundry done (which we really need at this point in the trip).

See the attached pics of the White Swan and Guangzhou.

Baby Bird's First Flight

Above: When we thought baby bird would sleep the whole time.

Below Right: Abigail and Larry waiting to go through security

Below Left: We put the baby in charge of carrying the passports for the three of us. She did a great job. We should have given her more responsibility because on the plane we lost that darling little red hat from Norma K that she has been wearing in all of the pictures!!

In addition to calling Abigail "little monkey" we sometimes call her "baby bird" because of the way she tilts her head back and opens and closes her mouth for you to put food into it. (And btw Jim, what is Big Bird's real name?) Anyhow, last night was her first ride on an airplane. The first 20 minutes were good- she had a bottle and fell asleep. We patted ourselves on the back for being such great parents and thought the rest of the flight would be no problem. Then she woke up and we played "try to entertain an exhausted 14 month old for 70 minutes on a plane". How are we ever going to make it 17.5 hours in the air from Hong Kong to Detroit?!?!?!

How do the Chinese stay so skinny with so much good food?

When Lar and I went to Japan for a month, we wrote emails to our friends about our experiences, but I was criticized for writing too much about food. If you aren't interested in food, don't read this entry. But it is nearly impossible to go to a country with such a vastly different culture and ignore the importance of interesting and new food and the depth it brings to your experience in that country. When we traveled to Ontario for our anniversary this past summer, we did not write home about the food there because, aside from ice wine and Tim Horton's, there is not a lot of difference. But in Asia, the food is part of the experience. It is a huge part, actually, considering it is something you think about at least 3 times per day.

In response to my title, I know that a typical Chinese person is not wealthy and can't afford to eat the way that Lar and I have been eating on this trip. Also, we are staying in international hotels that have buffets for breakfast that represent food diversity of several continents. (This buffet, BTW, is something that our agency worked into the cost of the trip, which Lar and I are glad about because we would have balked at the price and gone out onto the street to forage for some food from a vendor every morning, but instead, we get to think of it as "free" and really enjoy it.)

Our breakfasts have consisted of fresh squeezed juices, coffee any style (latte, espresso, American, Brazilian, etc), fresh fruit, any type of pastry that you could find in America (hard rolls, toast on 20 different breads, Danish, Chinese donuts- think funnel cake without the powdered sugar, muffins, etc) and bacon and eggs.

But then there are the options for smelly cheeses and cold cuts of meat (European style), yoghurt type something (in the style of Turkish or Greek food), Chinese foods like eggplant, vegetables we don't have in America, familiar fruit and also fruits we don't have in America (like Fire Dragon Fruit- a white kiwi/pineapple thing), and various noodle dishes (my favorite breakfast here).

There are also a variety of soups (including Mutton, which Jim and Steph would enjoy given their love of mutton tacos), fresh made sushi, sashimi (the cuts of fish you can get in Asia put anything we have ever had in America to shame).

Lunches with our tour group have been family style, with 8 or 10 of us passing around bowls of noodles, unidentified meats, soups, rice, and many slimy (but good tasting) green vegetables. Lunches on our own, Lar and I find little shops that serve bentos (bento is the Japanese word for it; I don't know the Chinese word for it) which are small boxes of food with several partitions in them, each partition housing rice or noodles, meat, some type of Chinese style vegetable, and various other things we can't identify but taste new and interesting. One way our lunches fall short of our expectations are that, unlike in Japan where every block had several convenience stores to get take out sushi and bentos, we cannot find any such place here, so everything is a sit-down ordeal.

I'd also like to say a word about snacks in Asia. We experienced this in Japan as well as China, but there are the best snacks here, particularly crackers/cookies. They are not sweet and overloaded with high fructose corn syrup as everything is in America (inconvenient for me since I can't eat HFCS due to a health issue). In Asia, amazing things are done with with sesame seeds, almond flavoring, salt, or maybe a pinch of sugar in small but satisfying portions of individually wrapped crackers.

Bon Appétit

Adoption Finalized (Just in time for this tax year!)

Yesterday I was holding Abigail while brushing my teeth and she wanted to have a toothbrush too. So I gave her the one from the hotel to play with. It is her new favorite toy. We went to the local registration office, where the adoption was finalized and they had to take an "official" picture for their records, and there is Abigail, holding her toothbrush.

Anyhow, here is a picture of the three of us, right after the adoption was made official.

And a picture of Abigail with her toothbrush, just because it is cute.

How to flip out a Chinese bell boy and Abigail update

As everyone in America is finishing the last of their Christmas pie, knocking back another eggnog, and my Dad is falling asleep on the couch after sampling Jim and Steph's latest wine, we arrived at Zhengzhou. We love it a million and a half times more than Beijing.

The irritating thing about the Chinese, though, is they love to serve you. I find this inefficient. I want to say "Bell boy, I'll still tip you just to get you out of my way, but I am going to carry my own d*mn bag because I can do it 100 times faster than you." So after we arrived at the hotel, armed with another checklist of things to complete before they hand over our daughter in a few hours and eager to get started, we were at a stand-still because the bell boy hadn't brought up our luggage. It was going on half an hour. So, I found the bell boy on the floor above ours, struggling with the inordinate amount of luggage for the ever-high-maintenance von Trapp family. I gave the bell boy a tip, grabbed our 2 suitcases and began hauling them down the hall. The guy chased after me, calling out in Chinese and trying to help. Then I picked up a 44 pound suitcase in each hand and started down the stairs. I thought he was going to have a heart attack when he saw this (probably because no Chinese woman would sling around 88 pounds of suitcases). He yanked the one out of my hand (breaking the strap) and then carried it the rest of the way to my room, saying "I sorry I sorry I sorry" the whole way. Given the language barrier, I had no way to tell him that he shouldn't be sorry, I wasn't mad at him, I just wanted to get on with my day in an efficient American fashion.

(On a similar note, yesterday Lar had a bathroom attendant follow him to a urinal, tried to help him unzip his pants, brought him an extra roll of toilet paper (I had to check- TP is not something guys usually employ when using a urinal) and got a little too close to the situation, if you know what I mean. Lar was quite shaken up about the "too much service".)

Anyhow, we are in a frenzy to update the final paperwork things and wrap the gifts for the orphanage before we get Abigail. Lar is currently at the bank and left me with some things to take care of in the room, but I figured I could post an entry before he got back and still get my work done here if I hurry.

Part of the final papers we got on her update her info to help us prepare for her drop off in a few hours:
1. she is walking on her own (I am SO upset I missed this part, but it means her orphanage is really good and didn't keep her in a crib all day)
2. she has started on soft solid food (another good sign- some orphanages keep kids on milk for 2 years to save money)
3. she is sleeping through the night (8:30 until 7:00)
4. she loves dolls (Tammy and Judi will be happy to hear this and she'll get her Asian baby as soon as she gets home)
5. (the most fun news) she LOVES little dogs!!!! Jedi will be so pleased.

Pictures coming soon!

We have arrived in Beijing. As we flew in to land, we were on the window side that got to see the whole city. It looked very flat and sprawling at night.
Flight pros: Great "Chinese" food, we slept most of it (Larry thanks Dr. Lenes for that), we met a couple from our home town that are also adopting a kid with us

Flight cons: It took forever to land and get to the gate. We taxied around for so long (28 minutes) that I thought Jim was driving the plane and trying to find a spot to park at Home Depot.

Beijing thoughts: It is decorated for Christmas. More on this later after we spend tomorrow touring.

Tips for other adopting families: Our wonderful agency, CCAI, said a million times to "pack light". They also said this is an "Adoption Trip" not a "Vacation Trip." If you have other kids, please leave them with relatives. We are, very unfortunately, traveling with Family von Trapp who have 4 kids, 9 suitcases, uncountable backpacks and duffle bags, fights with each other, tantrums, etc. We and the other couples are there for the business of adopting our child and do not like the traveling circus we are with. It is unfair to those of us who (A) did pack light and (B) are trying to focus on the adoption of a new child into our families.